Now dont get me wrong, not everyone chooses to go this route. I was definitely not one of them.
Let me explain my feelings on this
When my husband proposed to me and it was time to start thinking of our actual wedding, it got me thinking. My sister had gotten married prior to me. Her wedding was the traditional wedding, married in the church, a rented, beautifully decorated hall and a fabulous supper followed by dancing and drinking. It was beautiful, I had a great time. But I knew, I just knew, this wasnt the kind of wedding for me.
- I did not get married in a church
- I did not have a reception, there was no after party, there was no dancing, there was no drinking
- I did not wear a traditional wedding dress (I bought a dress that was free flowing that would fit over my 5 month pregnant belly *Note, we did not get married because of the baby lol )
- I did not have a professional photographer
I am not a fan of crowds of people, I am just as much not a fan of idle small talk. Neither me or my now husband are religious in any way so a church was immediately out as I personally saw no point in being married in a religious place and having them speak things to me I have no idea what they mean. So we went for the other option of a Justice of the peace. Now my idea of being married in a courthouse was not what I wanted either. I wanted something that was me. Now a church was not, and neither was standing in a courthouse.
After some searching we found a man who would marry us at any location, we just needed to pay him. And believe me, the price was ways less than any church fee. Now none of my decisions were based on money. My father was going to pay for my wedding. But a big fancy to do, it just isnt me. We decided we would get married in Banff, AB at Bow Falls. March 6, 2010 to be exact. I despise the heat so a summer wedding was immediately out! It was a beautiful winter day.
When it came to inviting people, I did not wanted to invite anyone. This caused quite a stir among everyone. How could you not invite people? I think this is where the tradition has gotten people swayed. Me, I never felt I needed the validation of every person I knew being there to witness me marrying the man I love. All I really felt I needed was my closest friends, which were 4 of them, my parents and my sister. Done! In the end I compromised with my family and we invited my mothers friends who I have known since I was a baby so they are like family, three of my uncles and my cousin who is my best friend. That is it. It was truly too many already. Like I said, I never needed alot of people, I just wanted to marry my best friend.
In making this decision like I said I kinda of irked my mother a little. She wanted her family to be there, she wanted her friends to be there. My Father had a friend that me and my husband new quite well. Because of my decision to not invite people to my wedding, she took great offence to this. My Father lost his friend. She never spoke to us again. Even after many apologies, which I do not believe I really needed to give, however I did on behalf of my Father. I was sad to see him lose a close friendship over a choice I made. But in the end...... Was this not my choice? Was it not a choice I was allowed to make? Somehow along the way I believe people have a preconceived idea of how a wedding is "supposed" to be and are a little shaken if you steer off course.
When I look back at my day it was a damn good one. It was simple, and just how I wanted it. I got married on the side of the river that day, with a small group of people. We had dinner afterwards in a restaurant in Banff. Everyone together. I opened my cards from people and that was it. Me and Enrico went back to our hotel and everyone left the next day and we stayed there for a few days together. It was perfect. Just how I wanted it to be.
I am not a dancer in any sort of way. If I do dance, it is to look silly or to dance around with my children. There was absolutely no way I was going to have a dance at my wedding. I laugh even thinking about it.
I do not drink, I do not like the taste of it, any of it! When I do drink it is purely to get drunk and have a good time. Was this what I wanted to do on my wedding day? I think not. My thoughts were, do I really want to pay a bunch of money so people can get drunk on my wedding day? Um.......... ya right!
I married the man I loved that day. Just that. I didnt feel that I needed to traditionally feed an army a dinner and than get them all drunk and dance the night away to celebrate. I needed him. And thats what I got.
Do I regret not having a big wedding?
Do I regret not having professional photo's to look back on? Not even a little bit.
What do you think of weddings? Traditionally overdone? Or love the tradition?
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