When I was in school bullying started for me when I was 9 years old. At 9 you are pretty innocent. I remember me and my best friend at the time both being bullied together by the same person. We went home that day and I am sure we shocked her poor mother when we innocently asked her mother "What is a cu#t"? As this is what we were called at school. If she or her mother is reading this today, I wonder if they too remember this.
I have often thought, what will I tell my daughter when she comes home crying, or when she shows the signs she is being bullied at school. What will I do? I am sure every parents first thought is to go down the school and wring the damn kids neck. But in reality, what do we do? I hope that in raising my girls I will instill in them the will to talk freely with me, to be open and comfortable to talk with me about anything. I hope....
I think most of us do the best damn job we can with our children. But this is one part of their life I feel so strongly that I can not fail them. I know what it feels like after all, to be bullied. I am sure most of the people reading this do too. At least in some way or another. It takes your spirit, your happiness, your will to be you and learn new things, your confidence dwindles away. I will be honest and say I am scared for my children.
This day and age you hear alot about suicides related to bullying. It is one of the saddest things to happen to someone so young. I remember very well at that age that you really feel that your whole life is crashing down. You will never understand that, at 35 years old all that bullshit wont matter anymore. It will be behind you and you will have moved on and created a life without those people. At the time you are encapsulated in your own little world. It IS everything at that age. That is your whole life. All you know.
I remember being 14 years old and thinking I knew it ALL. I was so mature and I new the world. Looking back, what a naive child. I knew what was in my circle, and to me that WAS everything. I will remember that when my girls become teenagers. I hope to instill good values in them and raise them to be decent loving people who will treat others with respect and expect the same in return.
I hope that if my daughters become the victim of bullying that I approach it in the best way possible. I look back to elementary and I think of one girl, one girl in particular who never let the bullies get the best of her. I wish I could talk to that girl today and ask her thoughts on it all, I am sure it would be a great insight.
I have asked quite a few people their thoughts on bullying. Have their children been bullied. 99% is yes. A girl I spoke with talked to me about her 7 year old son who was being bullied at school and another 7 year old told him "when I get to grade 4 I will bring a knife to school and kill you". I have to admit I was a bit taken aback at this. 7 years old!! She immediately went to the school to the teacher and the principle. This is what all the parents I asked said. They went to the school to have a meeting with them. Now in this incident parents and teachers and principle were involved however since their young age no police. I did think about it on the way home and thought, it would have probably been a good idea to get the police involved and set this kid straight.
What are my personal thoughts on my daughters getting bullied? I will not tolerate it (as I am sure none of you out there will as well), I will teach them to not tolerate it. I hope that if the time comes I will persue it properly. I think there is more awareness of bullying than there was in my day. I am glad for that. I think that bringing parents of both parties in is a great idea. Now as a teenager, absolutely mortifying. However each situation is different. When you are a little older things are different. If push comes to shove will I tell my daughter to walk away? Absolutely. If it continues, I have always thought, than you defend yourself. I will stand behind them the whole way.
Now I know some people believe that bullying is a part of life, it toughens you up. Maybe so, but I do not believe it is the right way to toughen someone up by breaking them down. Will I be the one to let my daughters change schools if they want to? To "run" away from their bullies. Your damn rights I will. I remember feeling that same way. I begged my parents to change me schools. I wont forget the way I felt about it, so if I am posed with the same question, I will do all in my power to make my child a happy one through an already difficult time in their life.
I watched a video this morning. It sat with me all day. It is the reason I wrote about this. This woman spoke about her son and how he was bullied. It was heartbreaking. As a mother you can not help but to feel the pain as she tells her story. I never want to be sitting there telling such a story. So this is why, at 2 & 4 I am already thinking about what my daughters will face in life and how as parents we can protect them.
Because.............. it happens, and it can happen, to anyone.
This is the video
What are your thoughts on bullying?
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