Like many of my posts lately I wonder.... Damn, should I even write this? I mean, do I really want people to know.... the real me? Ahhh what the hell right I have already opened Pandora's box with all my other posts.
I have struggled with weight my whole life. Ugh, who hasn't is my thoughts. If you haven't, let me make you sad and stuff some cheeseburgers down your throat. Anyways..... My struggle. I have never been a skinny girl but I also have never been obese, however since I gave birth to my two daughters I never lost the weight. When I met my husband I felt I was at a great weight and I was healthy. We became comfortable and someone once told me, when you are comfortable and happy you get fat like cats do. So..... I guess I am a cat because that is exactly what happened. We both gained weight. Not uncontrollable weight but here it was, the result of cuddling on the couch eating whatever we wanted. Then baby number 1 came along.
I gained weight with my first daughter. I would say I gained a good 30lbs. I was never comfortable with this weight gain, although I DESPISE exercising and eating super healthy was never my forte. So the weight stayed with me. I would try to work on it here and there but I never gave it my all to make the real effort.
This past March 2015 I recovered from my depression. I made it out! So now a few months later, I can actually look at losing the weight as I am not in my deep dark hole. Problem is..... I am back where I started. I DESPISE exercising and I love to eat. What to do, what to do?
I considered Weight Watchers. But I hated being on that counting what you eat. Pain in the ass!!! My husband also hated it (because of course I made him do it with me). I considered the Dukan diet. I can eat a week of pure protein and cut out breads... Ok, who am I kidding. I would be charged with breaking and entering of a Bakery. That was out. . . .
So I have been thinking about it. What will work for me? I can eat healthy. But its the so many calories in and so many out that I have no idea what they are. The second I think diet, I am already thinking of McDonalds drive thru. Restricting myself doesnt pay off, I have never been one for not being able to do something. If I am not supposed to do it, damn rights im gonna do it. So cutting out bad foods altogether, never works for me.
So lately I have been really thinking about it seriously, what should I do? What should we do, as a family? I have thought about getting up and doing Yoga before work, but who is kidding who here. Yoga or sleep. I am sorry to the skinny girl begging to come out, sleep has won, yet again. So, there we have it, Yoga will not happen, at least before work. I have yet to even try it when I get home after work with two little girls running around. I am sure they will be climbing all over me as I attempt a plank or downward dog. The thought isnt pleasant that is for sure.
So something has to give. I decided the other day, you know what, I used to jog before I met my husband. I used to get up at 5:30am to do that. I can do that again (not at 5:30 though, kill me now). So I said, ok, after work we will get the girls ready and us ready and before dinner we will go out to jog. Neither me or my husband was a big fan of this plan. I sure as hell dont want to exercise after I worked a full day. No sir, and with two kids in tow. But, off we went.
There is a school in the city with a great running track. This is where I used to go. We got there and there was some sort of event going on. They were obviously using the track and we could not go. My mind, being me, instantly switched to, well thats it, we cant go (knowing full well that there are other places, but THIS is the one I wanted to go to) now that it is not an option, jogging....out! This is how quick my mind will change, my will power I think he lost in a fight long ago and never came back cause I havent seen that "will" in years. I turned that vehicle around and I thought, ok... thats it. WE START TOMORROW!!! Where did we end up you ask? At another track? At a field? Anywhere we could walk or jog?
Nope, my mind was done and made up, we were starting tomorrow. We went for dinner. This is classic me!!!! My poor husband as he has no choice when this mind is made up for it is a fierce one to compete with.
So.... Will I start tomorrow....?
Sigh.... I sure hope so.
I guess if not tomorrow, there is always Monday to start right? ;)