My sister had started crocheting blankets. She was damn good at it. She made everyone in the family a blanket. I asked her how she learned how to do it and she said "I learned from you tube". Sitting at home with my children for the better part of the year I started thinking... I think I can teach myself to crochet too. I was battling depression and desperate for something to occupy my thoughts. I started watching a video. I bought my materials and I thought, you bet, I am ready. I made the most horrendous disaster of a hat there could be. I can now laugh at the atrocity is was and is, however at the time I was mighty pissed off. We now joke if you starched it, one could probably use it as a fruit bowl.
I watched the video and tried again. It worked. I made half a hat and I decided right away that I wanted to go bigger. I looked at a pattern for a My Little Pony hat. I thought.... if someone else can do this, I sure as hell can too. I bought the pattern for $5.99 and my journey started.
In the courses I was taking for depression they talked about positive thinking, it was what we were going over for the week. I thought alot about it as I started this hat. It was not an easy feat. I went from a beginner pattern to something quite out of my league instantly. But this is who I am. Go big or go home right. I tackled that hat with everything I had in myself. It was difficult and there were many times I wanted to give up and say f this, I am done. But I thought back to my classes and positive talked my ass through that hat. I finished that hat and I have to say it felt like a damn trophy instead of a hat. I felt on top of the world, I did it!! I finished that hat and it looked damn good. I couldnt have been more proud of myself. Here is the first picture of the first hat I completed.
Once I started people started wanting me to make them for their kids. I had just started but I felt on top of the world like I could do anything. I took on the challenge. If someone asked for a hat, I figured out a way to do it. I only ever bought one pattern, this My Little Pony hat pattern. I used the base hat pattern for every hat I made, but 98% the other appliques I freehanded myself. This in itself I was proud of. If I didn't know a stitch I watched it on youtube. I became quite the little hat maker. It was alot of fun and the people were very happy with the hats I would make for them. My first "order" was for an Elsa hat. I will have to say this was the most difficult hat I made. In the end I made 3 of them and decided to never make it again. It is that much of a pain and unfortunately the most popular hat.
She gave me this picture of what she wanted it to look like.
I have to be honest, I tried and tried to get the hair to look the way it was in the picture she sent me. I couldn't do it. So I took ,my own approach. I started to make the hat my way. I improvised to that she would be happy with mine even thought it didn't look like the picture. This below is what I made for her.
I went on to make many hats for many people. I spent a 3 months making hats. By the time I decided I was done, I was happy. I did it! I mastered this. People paid money to have me make them hats. It was very rewarding. It helped me in a time that I needed a distraction from my own thoughts and in turn it helped my confidence as well. It was a true story of if you put your mind to something you can do it. I mean, I went from making that fruit bowl to people paying for my hats. These below are a few of my favorites.
I havent touched my crochet since. My depression is gone and I do not need the distraction. By the time I decided I was done crocheting I was a little tired of it. It was fun making them for awhile but each hat took about 6-7 hours to complete. I am a complete perfectionist so if one didnt look quite right I would pick it apart and do things over.
Would I start it up again? Possibly, but not in the same way as before.
I would do it not for money but for myself.
Have you completed something you never thought you could do?
Have you seen my previous post? Click here
I loved this post :) It can be the greatest gift to find something to distract you when you are at your worst. Depression is always hanging out over your shoulder. I think you have done an amazing job keeping it a bay and building a life long skill as well! Go you!ReplyDelete
Thank you so much!! I am glad you took the time to read it. I appreciate it :)Delete